Shrinking the Silence

Sharing a voice on living with rare disease

January — January 31, 2018
Cancer and me — January 18, 2018

Cancer and me

I have a funny relationship with cancer. It keeps wanting to crawl into my life. It has a few friends on the inside of my body who are getting the area ready for cancer to grow and be victorious. (as is the nature of FAP where pre cancerous polyps grow in my stomach, duodenum and ampulla). But I’m one step ahead and they’re out of my life before cancer can take over.

I do have a relationship with cancer’s close cousin, the desmoid tumour. Unlike your typical cancers he isn’t malignant and doesn’t spread. He’s benign, but don’t underestimate his power, he is on cancer’s side not mine. He wants to rule my whole abdomen and when left to his own means he will do exactly that and take down nearby places like my urethra in the process.

We’re getting along at the moment and I couldn’t be happier. My body has claimed back it’s own space for now.

Then there’s the people on my team, taking a stand against cancer with me. The nurses I see every fortnight for my treatment and my oncologist who makes himself available to answer any of my questions or concerns, and is finding me the best treatment. And my family and friends who are there for me all the time.

Keep trying, cancer!

Shrinking and acceptance — November 21, 2017

Shrinking and acceptance

I call this post shrinking and acceptance because both of these things have happened with my desmoid tumour recently! My tumour has been stable since the start of the year, not to mention continually shrinking, and this has helped me accept it as part of my body that will probably always be there, but now I feel confident that it can be controlled and I am under great care.

Continue reading

My A-Z of having a rare disease — September 18, 2017

My A-Z of having a rare disease

Appointments and adding a new doctor to my list every year.

Blood tests, so many that I no longer flinch when the needle goes in.

Confusion,  navigating the confusing world of the unknown.

Dehydration
and still taking a long time to realise when I am dehydrated.

Enduring the hard days.

Fatigue, learning that fatigue is much more than being tired.

Grief for my life before diagnosis.

Hope for more research, treatment options and my desmoid to disappear.

Intuition, knowing my own body and when something doesn’t feel right.

Juggling multiple things at once.

Kindness of people around me.

Laughter, it’s the best medicine for me.

Maturity, learning so much more about myself and what I’m capable of.

Nurses, being under great care every time I go for treatment, a procedure or surgery.

Operations and recovery.

Positivity, trying to be positive whenever I can.

Questions, endless questions.

Research, I’m great at searching google these days.

Support from my family, friends, nurses and doctors.

Trials, when you’re rare, you need to take experimental drug options that are available.

Ureteric stents to protect my kidneys.

Vacations to have something to look forward to (I would usually say holidays but I’ve already used H!).

Work, feeling lucky I can still work full time and have that routine.

X-rays and scans, “breathe in and hold your breath”….”breathe”.

Yearly endoscopies to check for polyps.

Zzzzzz on the days I need extra sleep.

Catching up on my thoughts — June 8, 2017

Catching up on my thoughts

I didn’t realise there were so many things and emotions I’d built up over the two years since finding out I had FAP until now, and a lot of my blog posts so far have been catching up on this time of my life that has been crazy and overwhelming at times.

Since sitting down to write this blog I’ve actually realised that 2017 has been a good year so far. A good year for me right now probably doesn’t look like the typical 27-year old’s good year, but given what was thrown at me in 2015-2016 I’ll take it. Continue reading

When there’s no end in sight — April 19, 2017